By Wayne Hoover
Recently I have been thinking about how much Polyamory has helped me build up many skills. One of those skills is communication. When in a polyamorous relationship communication is very important. Clear, honest and concise communication. Of course this requires that we are clear in our desires, honest with others (and ourselves) and concise in expressing our selves to others.
The level of depth of communication in these areas usually doesn’t come up as frequently and as passionately, as I have found when talking in a polyamorous setting. What is a polyamorous setting? For example, that can be when we are talking about desires we have with other people for example. This requires a deep level of clarity and honesty.
If my partner wants time alone with someone in my room, I appreciate more honestly and clarity around desires. What would are their desires with the other person? Is it just talking, or cuddles or something more? This clarity feels amazing to receive, it really deepens our relationship. It ups our communication game because now we have to be clear on what we desire, and honest about it too.
This creates a win win win situation. A win for the person giving the communication because they get to get clear and get better at expressing their desires. A win for the person receiving because they can feel secure and held with the clarity of their partner, and a win for the other person involved too because now the relationship between those two is stronger and more able to hold another when there is this feeling of honesty and clarity in communication.
There is so many more amazing benefits to breaking open the monogamous hegemonic cage. For someone like me who thrives on personal growth it has been one of my biggest teachers that has given me the most transformation in my life.