By Wayne Hoover
Today I found myself getting angry at someone who was visiting the house. I said some smart things then he said some smart things and I noticed that old familiar feeling of anger start to creep up inside. This feeling of anger made a lot of negative thoughts seem justified. Feeling angry I felt justified in having thoughts like “He shouldn’t be here” or “What is someone like that doing here?” among others. Thankfully a friend came in the door and asked if I wanted to meditate with her- I agreed noticing that it was about that time.
The power of meditation
Sitting to meditate I had to face this angry feeling head on- there was no computer- food- or conversations to distract me- it was and always is just me and me on the meditation cushion. As I sat slowly but surly the anger started to fade and with that my thoughts also began to change. The key turning point from negative thoughts spurred by anger to positive thoughts came when I realized that I create my reality– that is; that I am responsible for my reactions at all times and therefore I am responsible for the reality that is created around me.
I have the power to react to this person in whatever way I want- it just happened that my default mode at that time was to react with anger- and this was further justified and therefore spiraled off by my thoughts. The moment I realized that I have the power to create my own reality my anger was soon replaced by feelings of empowerment.
The power of taking responsibility.
By meditating I am not ignoring the problem- I am facing the problem head on. In my meditation today I became aware (yet again) that I am fully in 100% responsibility for the “problem” in the first place. In fact the “problem” really isn’t a problem at all it is more like a learning opportunity. With the strong knowing that the reality I create starts within at the thought level- I gain a tremendous amount of power. No longer was it this persons fault that I was angry it is my fault that I reacted to him in that way- even more subtle and powerful is the realization that it was my “fault” (or in other words I caused it to happen) that he and I had an interaction at all.
This is to say that everything around me- everything that is going on has been caused by me in some way or another. I am the causer of my reality- truly and fully 100% I take responsibility and therfor I have the power to change it.